10 Things Expats Get Used to

Living in a foreign country brings a litany of adventure and excitement, challenges, frustrations, elation and sometimes just downright weirdness!  After a while, for the veteran expat, the unusual becomes commonplace.

This thought occurred to me the other day while I waited at the Thai Department of Land Transport to take my driving test for the second time (driving on the left hand side of the road sitting in a right-hand drive car…So, what’s the big deal, my British friends would ask, right?). It did take a few tries but you’ve got to cut me some slack. It’s been 30 years since I’ve had to do a driving test so it sort of caught me by surprise.  After spending two full days at the licensing place in Phuket Town (getting there was a feat in itself) I finally walked away with both car and motorbike driving licenses in hand (or should I say ‘drove away’ on my Honda Click…finally legal to drive it)!  It was high-fives and smiles all around for the ‘farang’ (me…the expat or foreigner) as I walked out of the administration building.

But I digress.  So, as I was sitting and waiting my turn I came up with a list of things I have ‘gotten used to’ here in Thailand (other than driving on the left side of the road):

1. Rarely understanding what is being said around you. Actually, I find this one quite liberating, as it’s sometimes nice to wander around with total anonymity.

2. The amazing smells that confront you as you round a corner (some quite pleasurable and some not so much).

My favorite vendor at our local market...always great smells emnating from his booth!

3. The explosion of color of the most exotic flowers you would ever see in a flower shop sprouting wildly from crevices and around walls.

These are just outside my kitchen window.

These delicate pink beauties line the stone wall along our lane way.

4. Bathroom sinks that just drain onto the floor.

5. Shower heads just mounted on the bathroom wall in the open (I just imagine I’m living on a sailboat and it doesn’t feel so strange anymore).

6. A urinal in my powder room (yes, I said urinal… I think it’s bizarre but my husband loves it)!  It’s right off the kitchen so it has now become a utility room where I keep the cleaning supplies and the cat’s litter box).

7. Bug tents in all bedrooms.

8. Roosters as alarm clocks (the one next door comes alive at around 5:15 every morning, which is just before the Imam at the local mosque starts up his ‘call to prayer’ – we got used to that in Dubai but here we’ve added the rooster).

9. Boys who try to look like girls (okay, I admit, that one’s a little hard to get used to but it’s definitely an interesting sociological and societal study).

10.  Warm weather every day of the year (I had to add that one as a Canadian but, of course, not all expats choose to live in sunny climes, it’s just our preference).

I’m sure I could think of another 10 but I’ll leave it to you to add what you’ve gotten used to in the years you’ve lived as an expat to the list!

A Little Pink Thistle

On my walk today I came across a little pink thistle.  It reminded me of the movie Horton Hears a Who and I paused to smile and wonder if this little thistle happened to have a 'spec' on it where there was a whole civilization living.

Then my mind took a sharp turn to the media frenzy that is now surrounding an organization called Invisible Children that is working towards arresting one particular individual who has been abducting children for many years and forcing them to become child soldiers. My smile faded and I could feel the tears prick behind my eyes. Really, we are all specs on this planet, aren't we? Every spec, big or small, deserves a chance to grow and prosper. The organization has produced a film that has quickly gone viral. "The 29-minute video was watched by an astounding 2.7 million people on Tuesday alone," according to a Globe and Mail article, that ran yesterday.  It went on to say that by Wednesday, 14 million people had seen it and that it has become the most Tweeted topic worldwide.

In the beginning of the film, the creator shares a very personal, poignant moment during his son's birth and ponders something that I myself have reflected on many times during my travels...how fortunate are we who have been born to privilege.

Now there have been some naysayers who question the approach the founder of Invisible Children has taken.  I even had a friend who has been working in Africa for several years send out a blast email saying that it's "another horribly misguided campaign that belies the facts on the ground, as well as the complexity of the issue at hand."  I have a lot of respect for this person so I felt the need to look at both sides of the story.  A Washington Post blog post by Elizabeth Flock presents both sides quite nicely.

Critics say that arresting one man won't solve the problem. However, I believe that if everyone had as much passion and commitment to make a difference as the founder of this organization does, then the world would be a much better place with more of the 'little specs' having a voice.

I've personally been supporting children's charities since I was nine years old and believe that supporting literacy programs in the developing world is the way to ensure systemic, lasting change.
I'm not suggesting you do or do not support this initiative, I just wanted to share the thoughts that were triggered by a little pink thistle.  

@Home is where you are @peace

I’ve just returned from a whirlwind 10 days in Dubai, visiting friends and promoting my book @Home in Dubai.  A realization came flooding in as I was wined and dined, housed and loved by so many Dubai friends that, home is not only where the heart is (mine is spread all over the world) but also where you are at peace.

The main purpose of my trip was to launch my book in Dubai by way of a book signing and coffee chat at my favorite coffee shop (Central Perk), where the manager I had met before when attending an event for Room to Read, welcomed me with open arms and allowed me to take over half the shop. I felt at home.

Book signing at Central Perk

I also took the opportunity to meet with book buyers from all the local bookshops (some of which are international). I was met with very encouraging words as they all forwarded sample copies to the National Media Council in Abu Dhabi, which must approve the book before it’s sold in the UAE.  I am hopeful that the approval will be forthcoming. Then my book will find a home on Dubai bookshop shelves. In the meantime, it's on Amazon (both print and Kindle versions) and probably in other bookshops elsewhere in the world (if you see one, let me know...rumor has it that someone bought a copy in London).

So, back to being @peace… I’ve been an expat since 1993 and I always thought of ‘home’ as little ol’ Halifax, Nova Scotia, where my mom still lives in the house I grew up in.  Every time the plane comes in for a landing at Halifax Stanfield International Airport a feeling of contentment washes over me. I sit in my mom’s living room and I feel at peace. I am home. 

Me and my mom, cozying up to read a good book (I know...it was a few years ago but still feels the same).

However, my heart is also with my husband anywhere we go. So home is also with him and I feel at peace when I’m with him and where I have some of my favorite things surrounding me (including my beautiful cat, Zorro). 

Zorro, the Muse

But wait, I also felt at peace when staying with my friends Joanna and Wendy during this trip to Dubai. They, and their families, opened their homes to me and it felt just like staying with extended family. In the warm embrace of my friends, I felt at home.

So, as I write this it makes me realize that the main message in @Home in Dubai is how important it is to find peace as you’re setting up a new home. Once you find it, you will be home, no matter where you are.

Here I am now, @Home in Phuket (hopefully the next in the @Home in... series).

 Where and how do you feel most @Home?

Dates...they grow on trees!

I've been back in Dubai a little over a week promoting my book, @Home in Dubai, and I'm staying in my old compound with a very dear friend.  She still uses Mohammed, the same gardener we both used while I lived in Dubai and it reminded me of a little story I wrote about one day when I pulled in my driveway and he was up in the palm tree in the front yard.  I thought I would share it for a little change of pace!

Dates...They Grow on Trees!

Our first summer living in Dubai brought with it the harvesting of dates.  What a novel idea.  I had never really thought about where dates come from.  I’m not a big date fan so I never had a burning desire to find out...and then one day…

I drove into the driveway on hot and steamy day and saw Mohammed the gardener up on a ladder on one of my palm trees in the front yard.  I adore Mohammed.  He has a great smile and infectious laugh.  Every day he would come to take care of my yard he would greet me with a hand over his heart and we would always exchange a word or two and a laugh.  I’m not sure what we laughed about since his English was limited but we always seemed to be able to make ourselves understood and often ended our conversations with a high five.  Anyways, I got out of my car, waved and smiled.

“Hi Mohammed.  Looks like you’re working hard today.”  It looked to me like he was cutting down these nasty looking pods at the top of my beautiful palm trees that had gone to seed (or so I thought).  He had a plastic grocery bag in his hand that he was putting the pods in.

I was expecting his usual broad grin but he hurried down the ladder, looked at me very sheepishly, hung his head and said, “Sorry madam.”

Puzzled, I asked, “Sorry about what?” 

He handed me the bag of nasty green seedy pod thingys and said sorry again.

“No, no.  That’s fine.  These needed to be cut down.  They look terrible,” I said pushing the bag back at him.  “I’m so glad you went ahead and did it.”

Then I finally got the familiar big grin as he realized that I had no clue what they were.  “Here,” he pushed the bag back at me.  “It’s dates madam.”

I looked at him confused, “Dates?”  They were green!  But then as I looked more closely there were some that were a golden yellow and others that were a light brown.  To my untrained eye they looked like they were rotten.

He nodded enthusiastically and handed me one and then bit into another one.  I wrinkled up my nose in mock disgust but he made mmm-mmm noises and pushed my hand, encouraging me to taste mine.  Now, as I said before, I’m not a big date fan but things usually taste better right off the vine, so to speak, so I was willing to give it a try so I bit into it.  I won’t say that I was blown away by the taste but I had to admit that it wasn’t bad.  I smiled at him and nodded.  “You’re right.  They are edible and they do taste like dates.” 

It took me a minute but it eventually dawned on me then that he thought I would be mad that he was “stealing” my dates.  I reassured him that I wasn’t mad at all and he could have all the dates he wanted.  I would keep just a few for my husband to try but insisted he take them all.  You would have thought I had given him the moon he thanked me so profusely.  You just never know, do you?

Dates are actually a very special crop in the UAE and there in my front yard were two DATE PALMS.  Who knew?  Good thing I didn’t cut them down as apparently I would have received a hefty fine.  I learned that there are even date growing competitions and an annual date festival held in the summer.  There are numerous varieties of dates as well.  There’s actually an International Date Palm Conference held every year in the UAE where date palm scientists and experts from all over the world share their knowledge and experience to the benefit of date lovers everywhere.

Happy Year of the Dragon

It's Chinese New Year and the celebrations started with a real bang yesterday (lots of fire crackers and fire works) and will continue well into the night tonight.  I am excited to say that I am indeed a Dragon so this is apparently going to be my year.  I share this honor with my fellow Canuck and awesome blogger Maria Foley at I was an Expat Wife who has some great detail today on her blog about Chinese horoscopes. Have a look!

Yesterday, my friend Thanya took me around to her friend's house to join in their celebrations so I thought I'd just take you through a pictorial journey...

Entrance of the Chinese Temple in Talang, Phuket

Thanya makes her offering

Praying for good luck in 2012

She has 11 children but she's willing to adopt one more!

Thanya's always ready to teach me about Thai Culture - she tweets @thanyatravel

Have a wonderful day and I'll be back soon...I've got two books I want to review for you... The Sewing Circles of Herat and Perking the Pansies - Jack and Liam move to Turkey but I'm not sure which one will come first.  Any requests?

2012 Tour Starts in Spain

After a brief break over Christmas, the virtual book tour continues:


Jan. 10 - Great start to the New Year with a guest post on Easy Life Spain, The 3 Rs of Relocating.  Have a look!  

I've also updated the original schedule that I posted just before the tour started.  There was some shifting and revising so if you missed any stops, have a look here!

Using Twitter to Promote your Book

I’m always looking for new ways to harness the power of Social Media.  There are so many layers and off ramps sometimes it’s hard to see the forest for the tress (until you take an off ramp that’s not quite finished and wind up in the bushes).  That’s why I devour any and all e-books and guides I come across that might give me that nugget that I was missing.

Even though I’ve been ‘developing my platform’ as they say in the publishing world, for a few years now, there’s still a lot to learn and there are changes and new developments constantly flying in from all sides.   

The other day as I was sending out another @Home in Dubai TIPS Tweet (Timely, Informational, Playful and Sound advice) I pondered how to directly reach people who were moving to Dubai. I scratched my head and stared at the blue bird for a few minutes and then it hit me!  Duh! Do a search using the hash tag #MovingtoDubai…and there laid out in front of my eyes were pages of people actually contemplating a move to Dubai.  Eureka!

I was so excited I typed in the same search without the hash tag and got even more.  I set about @replying to each one with a little personalized note (I know automating it would go quicker but I've always been a big believer in organic growth in social networks and feel it's important to engage one-to-one as much as I can).  I immediately got responses thanking me and many even re-tweeted it to their followers.  It was a beautiful example of this particular social network in play. Sweet!

To all my author friends launching books…give it a try and let me know how it goes.